EAT IT, BEAUMONT!

First, a little background. Nielsen Media generates ratings for TV stations across America. They send out diaries, people fill them out, and Nielsen determines how many people are watching your station. It's an imperfect system but, oh well.

They also carve up the nation into Designated Market Areas, or DMAs. There are 210 DMAs in the US. New York City is #1, Glendive, Montana is #210. If you work in TV, you generally want to work in the biggest DMA you can. The bigger the market, the more money you make.

Nielsen adjusts its DMA rankings each year to reflect population changes and the 2007 results are in and I'm pleased to announce that I no longer work in market #141. Medford is now market #140, replacing Beaumont, TX. And watch out, Topeka, Kansas, we're after you next.

And, on behalf of all my colleagues in the news business, allow me to request a retroactive pay increase. It only seems right that we start making market #140 money. 141 cash just won't due.