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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

GET ME TO THE CHURCH (SIGN) ON TIME

Every once in a while, the Internet throws you a wonderful gift that you didn't even know you were looking for. So it was that I found my newest online love.

Those familiar with my short but queasy stay in the Confederacy know that I left the region with a disdain of grits, and an odd affection for the many church signs that dot the landscape. You know, the kind that feature goofy slogans like...

During my early blogging months, I used to collect these little sayings and post them in this space. Once I left the South, the material dried up and that was the end of that.

But several months ago I heard about a book for pastors that contained hundreds (thousands?) of these little sayings. I decided to look for the book and simply post my own church sign message every week... just without the church.

During my online search for the book, I stumbled upon the greatest thing ever: the Church Sign Generator. This site allows you to take any message at all, and put it onto a photo of a church sign. Imagine the possibilities...

All those church slogans I've always wanted to try out could become a reality...And the Church Sign Generator is no respecter of persons. You can come after Catholics...Or the Pentecostals...Alas, there isn't a Mormon template on the site, which isn't all that surprising. We really don't have message boards outside our churches, just a sign that says "visitors welcome." And if we did have a message board, it would most likely contain information about Jell-O. But who knows, perhaps we'll get a sign one day.

Until then, I encourage everyone to make their own church signs. If you have any good ones, please post a link in the comments section. That should help tide me over until my book arrives.

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7 Comments:

At 10:50 am, Blogger Dave & Shannon said...

Or my personal favorite and a shout out to pop culture:

"Don't let Jesus catch you 'riding dirty' "

Everytime a pass a crazy church sign at home, I think of you, Workman!

 
At 3:48 pm, Blogger jerilyn said...

Here in Medford, there's a church on the corner of Cherry Street and Stewart Avenue that sometimes has clever signage. Also, the Seventh Day Adventists on South Stage Road come up with some good ones.

For a non-church sign that still gets preachy, the tool shop next to the Jack in the Box at the corner of Table Rock Road and Highway 99 has some amusing sayings sometimes.

Sadly, my work-addled brain cannot remember a single sign to quote. Sorry.

Oh, and it must be weird to get a comment on your blog by someone who lives in the same (smallish) town. I promise, I'm mostly normal and not scary.

 
At 1:34 am, Blogger Workman said...

Shannon, that's awesome! I'm so making that one up and posting it online. Thank you for sharing.

Jerilyn: First off, thanks for the church sign tips. I don't usually drive by the two locations that often, but I may have to start altering my routes. I used to live right next to the tool place when I first moved to Medford. I can't remember any of the sayings either, but they are, indeed, preachy.

And it's not at all strange to get a message from Medford. I actually think it's cool that someone around town is reading this. I get hits from all over the world, but I just assumed most of the Medford ones were either me or a few of my co-workers.

Nice to have you aboard.

 
At 7:21 am, Blogger thirdworstpoetinthegalaxy said...

Oh, man, I'm going to have so much fun with this. Thanks for the link!

 
At 8:11 am, Blogger jerilyn said...

If you lived right near the tool place, then you were probably in my ward (Medford 4). I don't blame you for getting the aitch out; our ward is riding the short bus a lot of the time.

 
At 9:28 am, Blogger Adrian said...

When we lived in Texarkana, the signs on that big Baptist church were always part of the anticipation of driving to church- what would it say this week? One week it said, "Boom Boom Out Go The Lights". I still puzzle over that. What on earth was that sermon about?

 
At 10:57 am, Blogger Darrell said...

Weird Al took "Ridin' Dirty" and changed it to "White and Nerdy," which is much funnier.
"Don't let Jesus catch you White and Nerdy."

 

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