HALLOWEEN... LIVE!

6:05 PM
I'm sitting in the front room waiting for the first trick-or-treaters to arrive. We usually have some by now. I hope my earlier post have put the kids on notice that they have to say the magic words before I cough up the candy.

I'll post regular updates as the kids arrive.

UPDATE: 6:25 PM
What are we, chopped liver? We live right in the middle of a decent sized subdivision (easy pickings for kids) yet nothing. Still waiting.

UPDATE: 6:40 PM
I went outside to see if there were any trick-or-treaters in the neighborhood. I noticed that a large number of homes here show obvious signs that nobody is home.

Do we live in a crap trick-or-treating neighborhood? If so, I've got a lot of mini Kit Kats to eat.

UPDATE 6:50 PM

This is insane! We just sent Nate and Will out with Julie. They're dressed like this.

7:00 PM
I'm going to stop writing "Update" at the start of each update. I think you get the idea.

Two kids finally came to the door. They were dressed at Power Rangers. They positively shouted "trick or treat". They got two pieces for that. Not a bad start, really.

7:10 PM
Did I miss the memo on this one? Did they move Halloween to November 3rd so it would line up with the weekend? This is dead. Simply dead. I thought blogging Halloween would be a great idea. I'd snap photos of the kids costumes, make snarky commentary in real time, turn it into a real media event.

But this? I don't know what to say.

I'm going to start eating my own stash of Kit Kats right now.

7:20 PM
Two more kids. One was a princess, and one was a ghoul. They both said "the phrase the pays."

Perhaps I'm wrong about kids being bums. Perhaps it's just kids in LA.

7:25 PM
A big group of kids showed up.Nice kids. Another kid came dressed in black with red glowing eyes. Kinda scary. But I didn't get a pic because I was busy uploading this one. He must have been a member of some order that emphasizes restraint. I offered him a second piece of candy. He turned me down.

A fairy princess just came by. I missed the pic on that one, too.

7:30 PM
Blogger kinda sucks. When you add a picture to a post, it screws up all your line spacing. I'll try to straighten it out later tonight.

7:38 PM
A trio of kids came by, one gypsy, on Superman, and one dressed as a bear.

Again, they were all dressed up, they all said "trick or treat." They're making a liar of me. I may have to redact my October 30th post.

7:40 PM
Two black ninjas at my door. This is the quickest turnaround yet.

Ok, that second kid may not be a ninja, now that I take a better look at him. But when I offered him a second piece of candy, he snatched it up with a speed that would make any ninja proud.

I'm also happy that kids can still wear black or spooky outfits. Wearing black is bad because you will be hit by a car. Wearing anything spooky is bad because... well.. spooky is bad. Nice to see that kids haven't let us adults take all the fun out of Halloween yet.

7:55 PM
Batman dog trainer? I'm a little confused by this outfit.

Don't get me wrong, it's cool. But its got the Batman horns, but then there's this dog insignia on the arm. He was really young, so I didn't quiz him on it.

8:10
Blogger really does suck. The more I try to fix the spacing issues in this post, the worse it gets.

8:20
25 minutes between trick or treaters? Dang. Well, here comes a fun looking bunch.

I didn't have a chance to ask, but I'm assuming these three are going as that Black Metal band from Norway that sawed the head off a goat in 2003.

Otherwise, they seem like really nice kids.

8:21
Things are picking up. And so is the cuteness.

This guy is clearly using his little brother as a cuteness tool to get piles of candy from strangers. This is completely out of line. Only parents should be able to do that.

8:22
Fast and furious now! I think I have my favorite kid of the night right here.

She comes up in an adorable lizard outfit, and I snap her picture. She appears disoriented by the flash and staggers about the landing. Then she reaches her little hand into our bowl, and pulls out five pieces of candy (with a single grab) and staggers back out into the darkness. It's an amazing scene. How can you fit that much candy in a hand that small? I only hope my kids are capable of that next year.

8:24 PM
Blogger really really super sucks. With every picture I add, it multiplies the number of spaces between my lines. If I go back and delete these extra lines, then all my paragraphs run together.

8:25 PM
More cuteness on parade, and likely the youngest guest we'll see tonight.

This kid is 2 months old, but has still brought down a pretty respectable haul. I hope her dad doesn't try to eat it all. That's a horrible thing for parents to do.

8:26 PM
Old people have this saying: "that's as cute as bee's knees." Well, they may be on to something.

Indeed, this kid is very cute, although the knees are a little difficult to make out.

8:45 PM
Blogger really super mega super suck suck sucks. Why is it doing all this crappy auto format stuff? Make it stop!

9:45 PM
I think I've got all the formatting stuff figured out. Very annoying. Very, very annoying. I think it's also safe to assume that no more kids will be banging on our door tonight. By my count, only about 25 people came by tonight. That's really not too many. Has trick or treating lost its appeal?

Whatever the case, we've got a lot of mini Kit Kats, Nestle Crunch bars, Twix, and 100 Grand bars in the house. I've kind of overdosed on Kit Kats, and I'm actually feeling a little sick right now.

But I should end this experiment by saying that I'm proud of the few brave kids who dressed up and came out tonight. They all looked great, they all knew how to say "trick or treat" (except for that two-month-old kid, but I'll let that go) and they all seemed like they were having a great time.

I apologize for ever doubting you.