MY LONELY STATE

They’re writing songs of love, but not for me. Indeed, I am a voter, its Super Tuesday, and nobody cares. Why? I live in Oregon.

It seems I will always be cursed to live in politically insignificant states, at least during the primary season. I spent most of my life living in either New York or California, two states political candidates use as ATMs. Presidential candidates traditionally never campaign in either of these states during the primaries because the voting takes place too late in the process to matter.

But there’s nothing traditional about this year’s presidential campaign. Everyone moved their primaries up to February 5th, even New York and California. But now I’m in Oregon, and we like bucking national trends here. So when do we get to vote? May 20th. That’s right, we have to wait another 3 ½ months before we have a say in who gets the presidential nomination. May 20th. Guam gets to vote before we do!

In this most exciting presidential election in just about anyone’s memory, we have to sit on the sidelines while everyone else has all the fun. No candidates come to visit, no ads, no nothing.

So as you watch the election results roll in Tuesday night, just think of us poor souls in Oregon, who have to let the bozos in all those other states chose our political candidates for us. Choose well, please.