THE END

And with that, NaBloPoMo is over. Much to my surprise, I actually made it. I posted 30 times in 30 days, which is about twice the output this space has seen in the previous 11 months. It has cost me sleep and a bit of my sanity and I came within a few minutes of blowing the whole thing with just a few minutes left in Sunday.

And after a project such as this, it's natural to take a look back and see if anything has been learned and what it might mean for the future. And on both counts, the answers are a bit murky.

As for what I learned this month, I think I've learned I'm very close to being completely scheduled out. Increased responsibilities with the kids and increased demands from the podcast have greatly limited my time to do other things. Most of the time spent writing here came out of my sleep time, and that's had some seriously negative consequences. I've been sluggish and grumpy and shorter with my kids than I should be. The lack of sleep has also contributed to what were likely a few depressive episodes this month. That's no good, and it can't really continue.

I've also learned that I'm still finding my "voice" for this period of my life. It was pretty well developed when I was writing humor at BYU (fish-out-of-water, sexually frustrated), and at Cal State, Northridge (liberal smartass), and even while in Texarkana (fish-out-of-water, culturally frustrated). But here, it's a little harder to find. Perhaps I've found it, but I'm really too afraid to embrace it. That humorless and not terribly thoughtful rant against the holidays I posted yesterday was about the easiest thing I've written all month. I just opened up the tap and let the bile flow.

But I don't really like that piece and, quite frankly, if I didn't have the need to post something every day, it wouldn't have seen the light of day. I guess what I didn't like about it was that it was simply a list of grievances without any value added in terms of insight, humor or solutions. In short, it didn't justify it's own existence, which any piece of public writing needs to, in my opinion. But maybe unfiltered anger and dissatisfaction is what I've got to offer right now. If so, I don't think I'm all that interested in serving it up.

So then what does this mean for the future? Well, it certainly means I will NOT be able to keep up a daily posting schedule like I did this month, much as I would like to. But there needs to be more action here in the future and I need to devote more time to writing stuff that isn't email or descriptions of islands in the North Atlantic.

In short, watch this space. Hopefully it will still flicker to life several times each month. But now, a little rest.

FACING 40

This is the last full week of my 30s. Next week, the 40s start.

I approached my 30s with a great deal of dread, but a few things helped ease the transition. My friends threw a surprisingly bawdy party (bawdy by Mormon standards) that seemed to attack the concept of 30 with the same ferocity that those bare-butt guys did in that one scene in Braveheart. A few weeks later, I met Julie and didn’t care if I was 30 because I was in love.

Now it’s time to deal with 40. I’ve been assured that this year’s celebration will be far more sedate than the one thrown a decade ago. We’ll be seeing Flight of the Conchords perform, so there certainly will be some excitement. But it seems like there should be some way to mark the passing of my 30s.

As the stereotypes go, the 20s are a decade of binge drinking and trying to find your place in the world and generally being surly. While the binge drinking never materialized (see: Mormon), I did spend quite a lot of my 20s moping and having many an identity crisis. So turning 30 was supposed to signal a new phase of life where things settle down a bit and some direction in life was found. The 30th birthday party was that last gasp of irresponsibility before adulthood set in.

But how to observe 40? More importantly, is there anything I should do during these last few days of my 30s?

That’s a tough question to answer. It doesn’t really feel like there’s any “30-ish” thing to do. I guess I could get a graduate degree in something. A lot of people in their 30s do that. Perhaps I could buy a Honda.

The changeover will happen next week whether I prepare for it or, not, so I’ll have to do some brainstorming over these next few days. If you have any ideas, do let me know.

LIMPING TO THE FINISH

Another grand experiment is over and it was a... success?

While this year's NaBloPoMo was to be a flourishing of creative forces, it turned out to be a little bit less than that. Technical problems, a job search, and a vacation all conspired to eat up almost all my spare time. So while I had hoped to have something substantial every day, there were more than a few half-assed posts thrown in there, too.

However, there were a few posts, good ones, that probably wouldn't have existed had I not made the commitment to post something here every day in the month of November. So there certainly was some value to be had there.

As a matter of fact, there are some leftover ideas that I hadn't used from this past month that will surely find their way onto this space.

As for now, I'm going to bed.

BEGINNING OF THE END

Technical problems are still keeping me from posting pictures today, and demands on my time are keeping November from being as post-tastic as I had planned.

But I'll take a moment and let you know a little of what's eating up my time and energies this month. A few weeks ago, I was taken into my boss's office and told he would not be renewing my contract. That's news speak for "you're fired." And Tuesday was the first in a short string of "lasts" that will go until Sunday.

Tuesday was the "last story reported for KTVL." It was a fun little piece about a guy who is traveling around the country and doing a job per week in all 50 states. It involved me tracking down the guy at a logging site in the hills near Crater Lake. The story was a reminder of what I loved about the job. It gave me a chance to go placed I'd never see, and meet people with interesting stories to tell.

Now I've got three days off. After that, I will return on Saturday and Sunday to produce and anchor the weekend newscasts. And that will be it.

As for what's next, it's a little uncertain right now. There are a lot of balls in the air, but nothing certain enough to announce here. But I'll keep you posted as all the changes swirling about become more concrete.

But for now, I'm going to go to sleep and start getting on with my life.

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

Today's post was to be a series of lovely pics of Nate and Will. Unfortunately, something is wrong with my card reader, and no photos are showing up.

That, coupled with the fact that I worked late and have to show up early, means this post may be a bit delayed. But rest assured, it will come. And when it does, it will blow your mind.

WATCH THIS SPACE

I had hoped to write something detailed here tonight, but I've not gotten a good night's sleep in some time and I need to turn in earlier than I normally do.

But I thought I'd at least chime in here and say that there be a series of major announcements in this space over the next two weeks. I don't have time to do it justice tonight, and a few details are not clear yet. But I'll have more to say soon.

And no, nobody is pregnant.

500

Every few hundred posts, I like to take a few moments and take a look back at what's been happening in this space. And this is post number 500. I decided to skip the update on number 400, so we've got some catching up to do.

Looking back at the last 200 posts (it took just less than a year to write them), I see three distinct spikes in traffic. One came last August when I went to a Radiohead show. Any time you mention Radiohead, the fans come flocking, so that's no surprise.

The second spike came in March, when half of my face seized up, courtesy of Bell's Palsy. I'll write more on the subject later this month, but needless to say, palsy is good for web traffic.

But the biggest driver of traffic to this site came came earlier in the year, when I gave a shout out to Mormon writer and performer Elna Baker. I had herd a piece she did on This American Life, and subsequently learned that she's got a lot of talent. It seems a lot of people were looking for information about Elna Baker, because traffic went through the roof. That little profile on her is by far the most read thing I've ever posted on this blog. Nothing else even comes close. Her book, The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance, will come out next year. It's easily the most searched for term on this site.

And the post actually had real-wold consequences. Some friends in Los Angeles read the post and flew her out to LA for a show. I'm told it went well. I didn't get to go. Oh well.

Shahara Simmons and Patch the Pony are also big drivers of traffic.

As for search terms leading to this site, you'll find the usual suspects: Elna Baker, Shahara Simmons, various spellings of my name. But a new search term star is Thomas Storesund. That's right, my Norwegian buddy Thomas man in demand, if the Internet is to be believed. In the past 11 months, more than 100 people have found their way to this site by searching for the name "Thomas Storesund." Who knew?

Curiously persistent in the search term hierarchy is "My girlfriend is a prostitute." I used the term once when trying to do a white boy translation of a Dr. Dre song. But there are a lot of people searching for information on this topic. So, if your girlfriend is, indeed, prostitute and you've somehow found yourself on this site, please allow me to offer you the following advice: break up. That's just not a healthy situation.

My Faroe Islands project launched some 18 months ago had its greatest success last week with my debuit on Faroese National Radio. Over the last 11 months, several hundred hits from the Faroe Islands have been logged, from at least 200 unique visitors. When you consider there are only 48,000 people that live in the Faroes, that's no small accomplishment. And once again, to my readers on the Faroes, I say, "Hi." I will continue pandering to you for as long as I possibly can.

I end each one of these annual naval gazing sessions the same way, so let's keep the tradition up. This blog started as a writing exercise, then also became a way to keep my parents stocked with baby photos. I don't know who I expected would read this thing, but there is a small band of you out there who don't know me, but read this anyway. I think that's really cool. Thanks for stopping by when you have a chance. I'll keep trying to fill this space with stuff worthy of your attention.

THAT TIME AGAIN

Last year, I took the dare and attempted to post every day during the month of November as part of National Blog Posting Month or NaBloPoMo. So this year I'm at it again.

It will be hard to post every day, what with Thanksgiving coming up and growing family obligations. On the other hand, I'll likely be unemployed by the end of the month, so I guess it kind of evens out. Either way, I'm confident I can do it.

So, for the next four weeks, look for new content here every day. I can't promise it will be any good, but there certainly will be more of it.

FILLING SPACE

Spotty internet service and an insane work schedule have kept me from posting anything here. The internet situation may have resolved itself, but work goes on until Wednesday. So until I get a moment's peace, please enjoy another sketch from Mitchell and Webb. They are the funniest thing on TV right now.

MSY-ATL-SLC-MFR

Breakfast in the Central time zone. Lunch in the Eastern time zone. Dinner in the Mountain time zone. Now I'm back in the Pacific and very tired.

But with all that time on airplanes, I just about finished reading "The Geography of Bliss," which I heartily recommend.

Didn't have time to write about the 9th Ward and St. Bernard Parish while in New Orleans. I'll have that up in the next few days. But for now, I'm going to sleep.

THE WHITE STUFF

What you’re about to read is a conversation I really had many years ago. I went home and wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget it.

On a city bus in Provo, Utah. February, 1991.

Me: So in my astronomy class they were talking about the start of the universe and how everything in the universe was packed into something smaller than a thimble.

Friend: Yeah, I think I’ve heard that.

Me: It’s kind of mind blowing, but I guess you can kind of imagine a giant hydraulic press mashing all the planets and stars together and stuff. My point is, I don’t have any problem with the idea of stuffing everything in the universe into a thimble.

Friend: OK.

Me: But what freaked me out was the black stuff.

Friend: The black stuff?

Me: Yeah, all the stuff that isn’t anything. The teacher said that all the black stuff was packed inside that thimble, too.

Friend: I don’t get it. What’s it doing in there?

Me: I know. I’m fine with a tiny, dense ball of stuff floating out there in the black stuff, but once you stuff the black stuff in there… well… I don’t know about that.

Friend: Did you ask the teacher?

Me: Yeah! I said, “If the whole universe—including the black stuff—is stuffed into a thimble, what’s outside of the thimble?”

Friend: And what did he say?

Me: Nothing. He said there was nothing outside. Now before this class, I understood that the black stuff was nothing. Now he’s telling me the universe is expanding… including the black stuff. So I asked, “If the black stuff is expanding, what is it expanding into?”

Friend: And he said “nothing.”

Me: Exactly. And I tried to ask again, I said, “OK, tomorrow the universe will expand into somewhere where it isn’t today. What’s there now?”

Friend: Let me guess, he said “nothing.”

Me: Kind of. He said I was thinking about it all wrong. So I’ve decided that nobody knows anything about what’s out past the universe, so that makes me as much of an expert as anybody on the subject. With that in mind, I’ve devised a theory. Wanna hear it?

Friend: Not really.

Me: Too late. It’s white stuff.

Friend: White stuff?

Me: Yeah, it’s this great sea of white stuff, and it eventually gets displaced by the black stuff when the universe expands into it.

Woman Sitting Behind Us: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Friend: That’s my stop. Goodbye.

Me: It’s not so stupid. Nobody can tell me I’m wrong because nobody knows anything about it.

Woman: Of course you’re wrong! It can’t be white stuff.

Me: Why not?

Woman: Because if it was white, it would be emitting light. That would violate every law of the universe.

Me: But that’s just the thing, it isn’t the universe. It hasn’t arrived yet. It will arrive soon. First there will be Martial Law, then the laws of the universe will come when the black stuff arrives.

Woman: I can’t believe I’ve just had this conversation with you.

Me: Me too!

And the next stop was mine.

A PERFECTLY GOOD EXCUSE

I hadn't intended on completely neglecting this site once NaBloPoMo ended, but I have been overtaken by events. A giant storm walloped the northwest today, and it was my job to cover it. I had to leave for the coast late last night and basically had to stay up for two days straight to cover the story.

So my point is I've not been in front of my come computer in a little while. But if it makes you feel any better, you can see the story here.

Now I should explain a few things... When I went on the air tonight, I hadn't combed my hair since Sunday morning. It just kind of worked out that way. And I know the stand-up where the reporter stands out in a horrible storm is a lame device. Everyone at home is thinking, "If the storm is so bad, why don't you get back into your truck?" But this is the life I have chosen, and in TV news, if you travel 100 miles to cover a storm, you'd better come back with a picture of you getting battered by wind and rain. That's just the way it goes.

So I'm going to bed now. I'm very tired. I know baby photos are usually posted by now, but I can barely keep my eyelids open. I promise you will see some within the next 36 hours.

We appreciate your patience and now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

LOOKS LIKE WE MADE IT*

NaBloPoMo is over and I'm happy to report the project was a success. The challenge was to post every day during the month of November. I forget exactly why I signed on, but I think it had something to do with a friendly rivalry with two other bloggers. (They also succeeded at the challenge, congratulations Ransom and Birchsprite.)

It turned out to be an interesting month. It wasn't easy posting 7 days per week, especially during the weekends when readership was down. But after a few days, the gears got moving and I was able to find inspiration in the world around me. It's a mindset I used to have when I wrote a weekly humor column. I like that mindset.

Another helpful surprise came from the Writer's Guild of America. When they went on strike, The Daily Show and Colbert Report went into reruns immediately. The Office followed soon afterwards. That freed up at least an hour each weekday that I would have spent in front of the TV. I do miss Jon Stewart, but it's nice having the extra time.

The project also boosted traffic to this humble site. Hits were up about 30% from normal levels during the month of November. With a site this tiny, it doesn't take too many people to see a noticeable boost. But hey, 30% is 30%.

Now that November is over, I likely won't be posting every day of the week. I need to sleep more and exercise more and pay more attention to other parts of my life. But I've developed a habit of writing more, and I want to keep that up. So the result of The November Experiment is you will likely see a bit more content in this space.

That's all for now. I look forward to participating next year.

(*That's a lyric from an old Barry Manilow song. I have never seen him live, and I regret to announce that we have never danced backstage at any show. Oh well.)

300

This fine little hunk of writing represents the 300th post to this blog. It took about five years to hit 100, then an additional 11 months to hit 200. I'm proud to announce it took slightly longer than five months to move from that figure to 300. The speed with which I reached this small milestone is likely a product of my participation in NaBlaPoMo.

So what has happened over these past 100 posts? According to Google Analytics, this site has seen visitors from 64 countries including Tanzania, Columbia, Pakistan, Kazakhstan, and Malta.

And what of the Faroe Islands? Just after post 200, I launched my campaign to earn more readers in the Faroe Islands, a small semi-autonomous group of islands in the north Atlantic. Since then I've gotten more than 400 hits from the Faroe Islands, representing some 85 unique visitors. A blog based in the Faroe Islands sends more visitors to this site than any other source except Google. That's no small task when you consider there are less than 50,000 people living on these islands. Hopefully this is a trend that will continue, and result with me actually visiting the islands one day. Time will tell.

As for content, there are some unusual posts sitting at the top of the pile. In 2006, I wrote about the children's filmstrip series "Patch the Pony." Apparently, there isn't a lot of information on the Internet about Patch, because that post was the most viewed page (aside from front page) over the last six months. The old post on the LA Clippers hat also draws a lot of traffic for reasons I have yet to understand. But sitting in the #3 spot is significant because it's a relatively new post. The post on my discovery of sheep! magazine hit this site only 10 days ago, but it caused a real spike in readership here. I guess people really love sheep. Or perhaps sheep!, as the case may be.

The search terms people have used to find this site have been varied and odd. The top few spots are taken up by various permutations of my name, which is to be expected. Next up is "Shahara Simmons," the wife of Clippers star Elton Brand. It's odd that I'm a top search result for this woman (who by all accounts appears to be a perfectly decent person), but I've just given in to it now.

But the strangest new popular search term that brought people here is "my girlfriend is a prostitute." Almost 40 people have visited this site while searching Goggle for that term. I was most puzzled by this until I realized that I actually wrote that sentence in a post on an old Dr. Dre song last year. So now I'm just amazed that this is such a popular search term. Is this really a big problem that people have? Perhaps I'm sheltered.

So I think I've peered into my navel long enough for one post. For longtime readers, thanks for sticking with his. For the newbies, hopefully you'll continue to find something of value in this space in the future. And if you're the Faroe Islands Tourism Board... call me. As always, if you have anything you'd like to see here in the next 100 posts, do let me know.

BLOG-SANITY

As I mentioned last week, I and a few thousand other people have signed up for a challenge to post to our blogs every day in November. Fair enough.

But some people are taking things to a whole other level. An elite band of 25 have signed up to leave comments on every participating blog. This seems like complete insanity to me, but the first person taking the challenge hit my blog a few days ago, and left a very nice comment. Furthermore, it wasn't just one saying "tag!" She actually watched the Halloween video and commented on that.

To return the favor, might I introduce you to Snorskred. It's an Australian woman who has taken on the Norwegian name for "avalanche." Sounds odd, I know, but it seems to work. She is a "scam baiter." I hope to figure out what that is soon.

NaBloPoMo, IT'S ON!

Note: A comprehensive report on all our Halloween trick-or-treaters can be found just below this post.

This month, I've gone and done something foolish, I've joined the army. Not exactly the army, but I have made a long term commitment (long term meaning 30 days) that I'm not sure how I'm going to keep.

You see, I was at someone else's site last year and I read about National Blog Posting Month, then someone else I kind of know signed on for this year's run. I was not about be outdone by those two, so I decided I needed to get in on the action, too.

People who sign on for National Blog Posting Month agree to post to their blogs every day during the month of November. At the end of the month, people who actually came through will be eligible for prizes.

But I don't care about the prizes, I just want to beat Birchsprite and Ransom.

But in the harsh light of day (or late night, whatever the case may be), I don't know how I'll be able to keep this commitment. November is sweeps month in my line of work, I've got oral surgery in a few weeks, guests are coming over for several weekends, and I think there's some major holiday happening around there. I'm a busy and unimportant man, where will I find the time?

Then there's the quality issue. A post a day is fine, but do people really want to read 30 posts about how difficult it is to come up with things to write about? Right now, I've got something of a regular posting schedule going. Baby pictures over the weekend, Faroe Islands on Friday, and some other humorous thing in the middle of the week. That leaves four other posts each week.

But like the people at AA say, "one day at a time." Let the games begin.

SEATTLE, DAY 4: RETURN AND REFLECT

We spent about half of today in Seattle, then headed back home this afternoon. We arrived just in time to catch Nate and Will as they were waking up from their naps. I did miss those two little guys.

Before we left, we had a chance to see Spamalot and I'll post my impressions on that show sometime next week. But tonight I'll gaze once more at my navel and try to figure out why my trip to Seattle wasn't the lovefest I thought it would be.

I'm willing to admit that perhaps it was me and not Seattle that has the problem. I've got a lot of important decisions to make in the next several weeks (it's not what you're thinking) and that may have prevented me from truly letting loose and enjoying myself whole heartedly. Instead I was in my head thinking serious thoughts all the time.

There's also a chance Seattle couldn't live up to the pre-trip hype. I've heard about how wonderful the place is for decades. Then got there and found that it was just, you know, a city.

So that's all for Seattle for now. I promise to give it another try one day.

SEATTLE, DAY 3: LOST IN THE GRID

I pride myself on being able to come to an unfamiliar city and take the pulse of the place rather quickly. In short order, I can figure out the transportation system, the neighborhoods, and the overall vibe of the place. It's something I'm good at. Or, more accurately, it's something I was good at. But with Seattle, I may have met my match.

The city just isn't speaking to me. I know that sounds all new age flaky, but that's the only way I can explain it.

The weather cleared up today so I decided to do a bit of exploring. I hopped on a bus and checked out the university district. The University of Washington campus was beautiful, and the surrounding neighborhoods were nice. But I felt some strange distance from the place. Kind of like I wasn't there. It was sort of spooky.

After a while I caught another bus up to the Queen Anne district: a leafy neighborhood set on a hill north of downtown.

I figured there would be some good views of the city from there, but they were pretty tough to come by, what with all the leaves and all. This is about as good as I could get.

Oh well, there are some lovely views to be had in postcards and on episodes of "Fraiser," so I guess the world really doesn't need another Seattle photo from me.

As I walked down the hill from Queen Anne back into downtown, I was puzzling over just why Seattle isn't working for me. On paper, it's the perfect city. It has a dramatic setting, it's got lots of cool neighborhoods, a vibrant arts scene, decent public transit and more than a few good movie theaters. What more could you want?

Yet as I walk around this place, I can't quite get a sense of it. I know that's an expression so vague as to be almost meaningless. But I feel I know less about Seattle than when I arrived. And when I fly home tomorrow, it will be almost like I was never here. As a person who would love to earn his living by going to strange places and describing them to other people, this is a most disconcerting development.

Perhaps I haven't spent enough time here. Perhaps I needed more of a local's perspective. Perhaps Seattle and I are simply incompatible. I hope this last option isn't the case, because I think this probably is a great place, but I'm having trouble connecting with it.

Perhaps Seattle and I should go into couple's therapy.

200

I don't celebrate anniversaries here, because the history of this blog makes them kind of meaningless. But I do recognize milestones, and we hit a big one today. This humble bit of scribbling you're reading right now is the 200th post to this site. It took five years to reach 100 posts, so I'm quite pleased that it only took 11 months to double that figure.

Looking over the past 100 posts, one certain event has dominated this space. When I posted my 100 update, I was most concerned with whether to create a separate blog to showcase baby pictures and keep this space more about humor writing and the like. Instead, this site has become an uneasy marriage between the two. The irony is that the baby pics probably drive more traffic to this site than anything else. Oh well. I still sometimes think about segregating the two into separate blogs. I'll let you know when I hit post #300.

I've been pouring over my Google Analytics stats with an intensity that would suggest I have a mental condition that could be controlled with some kind of medication. This is actually sort funny because there really aren't all that many numbers to crunch when you write a blog that attracts 50-150 hits per day.

Apparently, there still a lot of people who come to this site looking for pictures of Shahara Simmons, who was the girlfriend of LA Clippers star Elton Brand. She may actually be his wife now. Besides my first and last names, "Shahara Simmons" is the most popular search term that drives traffic here. That's a shame, because I know almost nothing about her and there's really only one mention of her in the comments section of an old post.

Several months ago, the following message was left in the comments section by a relative of Shahara's:

TO THE QUESTION OF WHO IS SHAHARA SIMMONS: SHE IS MY FIRST COUSIN,WHOSE REAL NAME IS SENACA SHAHARA SIMMONS. BORN AND RAISED IN NEWARK NEW JERSEY. STRAIGHT "A" STUDENT AND ALUM OF DUKE. SHE HAS A SISTER NAME ASHLEY. SHAHARA IS JUST A BEAUTIFUL DOWN TO EARTH YOUNG WOMAN WHO LOVES HER FAMILY. ELTON COULD NOT HAVE PICKED A BETTER CHOICE FOR A WIFE AND PARTNER. THOSE TWO WILL GO FAR AND PROSPER IN LIFE.

I LOVE YOU "SENNIE."

While I know little about either of them, I do hope Elton and Shahara do prosper in life. I'm assuming there are no photos of Ms. Simmons online, and that's why people keep coming here looking for one. If anyone has any photos of Shahara Simmons, please send one and I'll post it. I just hate for people to leave here disappointed.

Perhaps my favorite thing about maintaining a blog is seeing where hits come from. Google Analytics has a map function that lays this out in brilliant detail. Since last July, this blog has seen hits from 66 countries including Cambodia, Romania, South Africa, Uruguay, Zambia, and Hungary. While many of these hits can be chalked up to the vast and random nature of the Internet, there are some regular foreign readers out there, and I think that's pretty cool. Sort of like having a set of international pen pals.

Even when the random hits come, that's kind of fun, too. Two months ago, I was looking at my Google Analytics map and saw a tiny orange dot in the middle of the North Atlantic. I clicked on it and found that I had gotten a hit from the Faroe Islands. I was fascinated because, despite the fact that I'm a huge map geek, I had never heard of the Faroe Islands. A few hours of research later, I learned the Faroes are an semi-independent set of islands about halfway between Iceland and Norway. They have their own language, their own flag, and a stunning green windswept landscape. I actually signed up to get their tourist brochure. One week later, it arrived in the mail. I'd actually like to go there one day. They've got a summer music festival that looks quite cool. (Note to Faroe Islands Tourism Board: fly me out there and I'd be happy to write a lovely piece about the event.)

This post has gone on much too long, but all I really wanted to do here is thank you, the small little band of people scattered across the world who visit here from time to time.

I'll most more baby pictures soon, I promise.

NAVEL GAZING

The internet is a curious thing. It seems there’s no shortage of information out there, and no shortage of search engines to direct you somewhere else.

I know because, for some internet wanderers, this little site has been that somewhere else.

About 2 weeks ago, I noticed a fairly notable uptick in traffic to the site. I surmised the world was simply hungry for some stranger’s ramblings on Hungarian politics or his pants or whatever. Perhaps the internet is dreadfully short of baby pictures. These all seemed like perfectly plausible explanations to me.

Then I called up the good ol’ Google Analytics, and learned I was all wrong.

Some of my increased traffic was due to hits from the UK (Cheers!), Australia (g’day!), and Malaysia (Whatever You Guys Say!).

But the biggest hunk of traffic came from people seeking knowledge on Shahara Simmons. I found this a bit puzzling because I have no idea who Shahara Simmons is. With that in mind, it seems highly unlikely this site contains any useful information about Ms. Simmons.

After a little searching I have discovered that Shahara Simmons is mentioned in the comments section of a post I wrote last February. She’s the fiancée of Elton Brand. (May well be the wife now, for all I know.)

I was writing about owning a LA Clippers hat, mentioned Elton Brand, someone posted a comment that contains Shahara Simmons name and all of the sudden, bam, I’m the third most authoritative web source on the woman… at least according to Google. Hundreds of people have been directed to this site because of that, and all they’ve learned is that I own a hat with a Clippers logo.

Alas, it’s not only fans of NBA star’s fiancées who are likely disappointed by this site. Budding neuroscientists are probably let down, too.

Two months ago, several people found this site by entering “is your brain made mostly of water” into ask.com’s search box. Now that’s a very interesting biology question, and one I’d sure like the answer to. Unfortunately, the answer isn’t to be found here.

They got this site because I wrote about taking some omega 3 tablets and feeling stupid, and the phrase “apparently your brain is made mostly of water and these acids,” appeared in the post. And that was good enough for ask.com. What’s worse, while Google at least linked NBA fans directly to the Clippers article, ask.com just sends you to the main page. So honest souls searching for some good brain science instead found a link to a Keith Olbermann rant against the Bush administration. Sorry, guys.

Perhaps the biggest apologies go to the poor fellow who was directed here using the search term, “flight attendant prostitute.” This happened several months ago, and I can’t replicate the feat on any major search engine now, so you’ll just have to take my word for it. But the idea that the internet is (or at least was a few months ago) so devoid of information on flight attendants or prostitutes that this site would come up in searches boggles the mind.

In honor of these wayward searchers, I’m asking for your help. If you know anything about Shahara Simmons, or how much water is in the brain, or whether flight attendants are sometimes prostitutes, please deposit your knowledge in the comments section. I hate for people to leave here disappointed.