INSIDE THE DEEPEST GROOVES
I spent most of the last week covering a story that got national attention. Then Julie’s sister left town, so we actually had to raise the twins without any help. The combination of those two events has chewed into my sleep time so much that I can barely put together a coherent thought, let alone write anything here. So instead, I’ll pick over the contents of my brain.
They spilled out last night in the form of a strange and vivid dream. In it, I was watching a TV show that was equal parts Frontline and Saturday Night Live. The topic was global trade and the serious Frontline narrator was talking about how the United States no longer makes anything, but simply imports them from places like China and The Philippines. The screen was filled with pictures of factories cranking out flat screen televisions and stereos and computers and the like.
Then the Saturday Night Live voice says, “Eventually all those Asian people will riot and take the televisions for themselves.”
The Frontline voice stutters a bit, and the SNL guy continues, “All that stuff is just going to be piling up on a dock soon. Global trade is based on open shipping routes, and what do you think is going to happen when Boat AIDS takes out all commercial shipping?”
“Boat AIDS?” the Frontline voice asks as more stock footage of factory workers plays on the screen.
The SNL voice continues, “Yeah, boat AIDS. It’s like AIDS, but it takes out boats.”
“There’s no such thing as boat AIDS.”
“Well, not yet. But it’s really just a matter of time. It’s transmitted through contact with fluids, and all those boats are in the same body of water.”
“But a boat’s not alive, you can’t kill it.”
“Not without Boat AIDS, it’s pretty powerful stuff.”
About that time, I woke up, confused, scared, and deeply ashamed that some recess of my subconscious mind was able to conjure up that exchange.
posted by Workman @ 12:44 am
3 comments
3 Comments:
Very Bizarre.... I think you need some rest!!
Still shaking with laughter at that one - you are a sick, sick man! Do keep them coming! :)
Joke for you, Workman, to remind you of all those great Church bulletin boards you are missing down South:
A minister was completing a
Temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."
And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river."
Sermon complete, he sat down.
The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
"For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."
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