A PUFFIN TIME

If you're anything like me, you're intently following the Canadian general elections. You also don't have many friends and can say inappropriate things at large social gatherings. This probably has to do with the fact that you're following the Canadian elections so closely.

If you love elections, you've got to love Canada, these days. They've had several in the last few years, and each has resulted in a minority government. Indeed, Canada today is much like Italy without the passion, food, or hundreds of years of rich history.

The election pits Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper of the ruling Conservative Party against the Liberal's Staphane Dion, who has a girl's name, speaks French, and shares a last name (if not a lineage) with Celine Dion. Needless to say, things don't look too good for Mr. Dion.

Allow me to take a short diversion to the Faroe Islands. I can justify this diversion because of a bird related sideshow in the Canadian elections involving a Puffin. The arctic bird is common in the Faroes and I'm told that Faroese expatriates almost always have a stuffed puffin in their home to remind them of the land they left behind. Indeed, I have a Faroese tour guide that has a picture of a puffin on the cover, and a Faroese tourism site features puffins prominently. They even have a series of puffin cartoons.

So what does this have to do with the Canadian elections? I'll tell you. Last week the Conservative party released an advertisement that showed a puffin pooping on Stephane Dion. Don't believe me? Take a look...

The site also features spoof Facebook pages for Dion and other Labor Party leaders, but I'll stick with the puffins.

After complaints, the Conservatives pulled the and Harper said the ad was in bad taste.

As for me, I'm of two minds on the subject. First, as a public advocate for all things Faroese, I'm appalled that the Canadians would let such a prominent symbol of the Faroe Islands poop on a Canadian leader. Shame on you, Canada. I encourage all Faroese to turn his into an international incident.

But on the other hand, the election here has been dragging on forever and becomes more depressing by the day. I can't help but think of how much more fun the election would be if the candidates released humorous photos of their opponents being pooped on by birds, or any other animal, for that matter. I think even uninterested voters would pay attention if someone produced pictures of a polar bear pooping on Sarah Palin. Or how about a bald eagle doing his business on Joe Biden?

At this point, it certainly couldn't hurt.